


Le Chapeau Chic

by leiascully



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: F/M, Hats
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-02
Updated: 2013-08-02
Packaged: 2017-12-22 05:31:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 296
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/909478
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/leiascully/pseuds/leiascully
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Doctor and River disagree about hats.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Le Chapeau Chic

**Author's Note:**

> Timeline: N/A  
> A/N: From the prompt "Doctor/River, tam o' shanter".  
> Disclaimer: _Doctor Who_ and all related characters are the property of Russell T. Davies, Stephen Moffat, and BBC. No profit is made from this work and no infringement is intended.

"And what," River said flatly, "is that."

The Doctor adjusted his tam o' shanter. "You're an archaeologist. I don't think this is a particularly difficult artifact to identify."

"But you do admit it's an artifact," River said. "Without relevance, perhaps? Definitely unnecessary to wear."

"It goes with my kilt," the Doctor insisted.

"Which you aren't wearing at the moment," River reminded him. "Although now that I know that you own one, perhaps we'll have to find an occasion for you to flaunt those shapely calves."

The Doctor fussed at his tam, even though it was already perfectly settled. "Yes, well. I might have lost it. The infinite wardrobe, you know, a bit impossible to say exactly where it might be."

"And yet you found this," River said. 

"I always know where this is," the Doctor said defensively. "This is the genuine thing. Doncaster Rovers, 1879."

"It's genuinely awful," River said. "I don't know what possesses you, sweetie. It's just one ridiculous hat after the other. Better the fez than this. It does make me wonder where along the way you left your dignity, and which one of us will find it first."

The Doctor swept the tam off his head and tucked it into his pocket. "You're not vaporizing this one," he said sulkily.

River smiled at him. "Come on, then. If you want to wear something foolish on your head, at least let it be an appropriate venue. We'll go to Paris - at least there it's acceptable to wear a beret. Or an American football game, or the Renaissance. Surely you could jest."

The Doctor smiled and rubbed his hands together. "Paris sounds better. And I know just the time."

"You always do," River said, and he winked at her and pulled the zigzag plotter.


End file.
